With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to share how I met my boyfriend Mike here in New York and my top tips for dating in the city! I am definitely not a dating expert, but I can share what worked for me and what I think helped to lead us to where we are now in our relationship.
Dating in big cities is hard, it just is! It’s almost like there are too many people and options that it becomes overwhelming. And where do you even start? I don’t go out super often, and when I do it’s not like guys usually approach me or want to chat! A lot of people I’ve met here have said they met their significant other through mutual friends, but when you move to a new city like I did and don’t have many friends, that feels impossible too! My last option seemed to be online dating, but soo many dating apps are creepy (i.e. Tinder and Happn) which steered me away from using dating apps in the first place. But once I moved here I realized that New York City has its whole own array of dating apps, which is where I met my boyfriend! Here are my tips for online dating that my boyfriend and I did that totally worked for us.
- Don’t Be Afraid To Send The First Message: This one is crucial in my opinion! I think when girls wait around for a guy to send the first message, they aren’t always going to get what they want. I say be bold and make the first move, I did and it worked out for me! I met Mike on an app called Hinge and I wrote a message to him commenting on something he wrote in his bio. (He wrote something about how he only likes baked cookies and not cookie dough and I sent a message asking how could he not like cookie dough because it’s the best, super cheesy but it worked out for me!)
- Get off of the app ASAP: This one is THE most important. You know those guys/girls you’ve chatted with on a dating app for weeks/months and never actually met up with? Yeah, I’m pretty sure the longer you stay on the app talking, the lesser of a chance you have at meeting in person and forming a real connection. (This is just my theory!) I want to say Mike and I only exchanged like 5-10 messages on the app before exchanging numbers, and then we planned to meet like that weekend. This also really helped me to not be so nervous going into the date, since there was less pressure because we didn’t know each other well so the expectations were low, lol!
- Meet in Public/Somewhere with Activities: I honestly think going to dinner or coffee can be so nerve-wracking because you are basically forced to keep up the conversation, and if there’s a silence it can be awkward! Obviously after awhile those are totally normal dates, but if you’re going into a first date with someone from an app, you may have a better chance for success in a public place with things to do/look at. We went to a food festival, which ended up being so fun because there were so many foods and drinks to try but we also walked around and chatted a lot. It was also busy enough where if we weren’t talking that it wasn’t awkward. (Quick shoutout to Mike for being an hour late to our first date and I was about to leave, glad I didn’t…definitely thought I was getting stood up!)
- Give It at Least Two Tries: Even if you aren’t totally sure that the date was awesome or perfect, maybe give it one or two more dates before you make a final decision! I had such a fun time with Mike on our first date but I still didn’t know if we had “chemistry” or could just be friends. He even tried to kiss me goodbye when he walked me to my train and I totally dodged him (awkward! 😂) but I decided to give it one more chance and thank god I did!
That is all for how I found a boyfriend in New York City! I will say I went on a few dates from different apps when I moved here, so don’t think the first guy is going to be a keeper! Just keep trying and don’t be discouraged, and also don’t take it too seriously! I had no expectations going into my date with Mike and had no idea how awesome he would be, and now I can’t imagine not knowing him! Sorry for the cheesy post/ if it was too much, just tryin’ to make some love connections happen 😂
Do you have any dating tips? Comment below! 🙂