The little girl I nanny for is talking about hopes and dreams in her fourth grade class. When I asked what her hopes and dreams are, she said “My hope is to get out of this conversation soon!” Kids are too smart. But this got me to thinking about my hopes and dreams. I’m 23 and living in New York City, but I don’t have a ton of clarity as to what I’m doing with my life.
If anyone didn’t already know, I’m a nanny. I’ve been nannying since February of this year, and I really truly love it. It’s the first job that I’ve done here in New York where I really feel like I’m good at the work I’m doing. If you don’t know, I moved to NYC to work at a PR company here. It didn’t turn out to be exactly what I thought it would, and between a new job, new city, and new apartment, my anxiety got the best of me. I was having panic attacks for like a week straight and I just couldn’t manage them, even with my anxiety medicine. I literally left that job within a month, and quitting a job like that when you’ve signed a year lease in New York City is definitely some scary shit. I hate the idea that people judge me for that or consider me a quitter and not a hard worker. For me, mental health comes first and foremost, because I literally cannot function day to day if my emotions are out of whack. To be honest, I’ve also never really seen myself at a corporate job before. Not to say that I wouldn’t be able to do it or that I might not pursue something along those lines in the future, but ever since I was young I have had this really entrepreneurial spirit.
Have you ever tried to envision your life, and you close your eyes and you kind of just know in your gut how it’s gonna play out? Like you can really almost see it, and all you have to do to get there eventually is kinda follow some steps along the way? That’s what I do. I’m not sure if I’m trying to manifest my dream life or if I’m just psychic and know how things are going to play out for me, lol. But when I close my eyes and envision the life I want, I see myself owning my own company. I get to dabble in photography, write, create things, travel, and have a family. I could almost cry thinking about it! The annoying part is that when I do envision this life, I’m not quite sure what my “business” really is. Sometimes I blog in hopes of turning this into my own small business, but I know that isn’t the greatest idea when I am blogging once a month! My inspiration is someone like Jenna Kutcher. If you don’t follow her, please do. She is a soon-to-be mom and an amazing boss woman. She marches to the beat of her own drum in the most beautiful way, and has a stunning eye for design. She is my ultimate goals!
I know I went off on a tangent here, but I did want to say that if you have a dream, go for it. And if you have a gut feeling about an awesome life ahead of you, keep moving in that direction. A funny man I once interviewed in a journalism class told me this, “Fund your dream until your dream can fund itself.” Nannying allows me the opportunity to interact with kids, one of my favorite things to do. It has also allowed me to start saving up to fund my dream. Although I still don’t know what that is exactly, I have a pretty good feeling about it.